Raw Carrot Cake

I have achieved Raw Vegan Carrot Cake nirvana (if i do say so myself....tbh, i think i come across a lot more conceited on this blog than i really am. trust me, i really am not a huge fan of myself irl). As I've mentioned previously, nuts and I are not the best of friends. I don't have a real nut allergy. But if I eat too many, I get a really bad headache and just feel bleh. So, although raw vegan desserts may actually be my favourite desserts (i'm actually a little shocked myself, but it's true), I often find myself feeling not so hot after eating them (cause most of them are 245% cashews).

So, lucky for me (and you, if you have similar woes with nuts or are looking to cut calories (because nuts are chock-full of em)) I made this carrot cake with significantly less nuts than any other recipe I've found thus far! Hooray! Less nuts = more happy Sylvia = more nuts Sylvia....so less is more in this case, I suppose. ;)

Now, perhaps you're thinking. "If there are less nuts, will it be less delicious?" No, it will not. I guarantee. And since I come across like a conceited jerk on this blog, I'll provide you with evidence seeing as I am not a trustworthy source (I'm basically Wikipedia....but less reliable, 'cause Wikipedia is actually reliable and schools are stupid not to let students use it as a source and it's probably some kind of conspiracy). My 14-year-old, vegan food-skeptic, carrot cake-hating brother ate MORE of this cake than I did! He kept knocking on the door to my room, and going "Sylvia, can I have a piece of your cake?"

Oh, and P.S. He's also a big time nut-hater. So, if my finnicky little brother likes this cake: I'm considering it a giant win. Also, I laaaahhhhvvveeeddd it. My mom and dad loved it. So, if you aren't finnicky like my little broski, you'll probably like it too. You don't need to be finnicky to love this cake. It's inclusive, babies.

To achieve carrot cake nirvana, you'll need:
for the cake: 2 cups of carrots (apprx. 4 carrots)
1/2 cup walnuts
1 and 1/2 cups oats
1 cup shredded coconut
1 cup sultanas/raisins
12 medjool dates
4 teaspoons cinnamon
2 teaspoons nutmeg
1 teaspoons vanilla

First, let's pit the medjool dates so that we don't break our food processors (or our teeth. i had the worst experience with unknowingly chewing on a date pit at a raw vegan restaurant recently. NOT COOL, man). Now, let's slice up our carrots. And finally, we chuck all the ingredients into the food processor (in however many batches you need. my food processor is itty bitty so i had to do 4 batches) and whizz it up until it forms a dough. If you did it in batches, you may want to mix it all together to ensure there's equal amounts of everything in the different batches. Alright, got the dough/batter/raw stuff all ready? Awesome! Isn't raw vegan "cooking" easy? Now we'll separate the dough stuff in half, and we'll put half in the bottom of a springform tin (cheesecake tin). Okay, stick that in the freezer and let's make the icing.

for the icing: 1/2 cup cashews (preferably soaked for a few hours beforehand)
2 bananas
2 tablespoons lemon juice
1/4 cup coconut oil
1/4 cup water (or a teensy bit less, just go with the flow)
3 tablespoons agave

So, if you soaked the cashews for a bit and you have a decent blender, I recommend making the icing using the blender. In the past, I've had major cashew chunk woes, but this time I used my fab stick blender and I got creamy icing perfection. Otherwise, use a food processor, and just keep going at it until it's smooth, or you don't give an eff anymore. So, throw all the ingredients (sans water) into the food processor or blender (preferably), and add the water as necessary (I used 1/4 cup, but you may want a teensy bit less depending on how thick you want the icing).

Take the springform tin out of the freezer, and spoon about half of the icing on top. Put it back in the freezer for a few hours (until firm), and then layer the rest of the dough/batter stuff on top, and then finish off with another layer of icing. Leave in the fridge overnight/for 4-6 hours. And nom away.

Chili Cheese Cornbread Muffins

Honestly, everything I make on here is about as Southern and American as you can get. Clearly I haven't adapted to Australian cuisine that well (except bircher muesli. bircher muesli is the bomb). Cornbread is something my mom used to make all the time when I was little. We'd normally eat them warm with some butter and honey. Unfortunately, butter has dairy and honey isn't considered vegan. So, I got a little more creative with these muffins. I think they're jazzy enough that they really don't need any added spreads...plus, I'm having trouble thinking of anything that would really mesh that well with "cheese" and chili....but if you have the perfect thing up your sleeve: Do tell!

Chili and cheese are basically my favourite things. So, I'm head over heels with these muffins. Of course, they don't contain real cheese, 'cause DAIRY *runs away and hides under a table in fear*. But they do contain my new favourite thing: SOY CHEESE. Finally, I can have cheese that isn't made out of cashews. YUSSS. Also, imo it tastes waaaay more like cheese than cashew cheese. So, extra bonus. Of course, if you don't eat soy or can't find soy cheese or don't like cheese because you're completely nuts, then you can just omit it, but I might try adding a bit of oil.

For Chili Cheese Cornbread Muffins (makes 9) you'll need:

1/2 cup cornmeal (polenta)

1/2 buckwheat flour

3/4 cup corn kernels (about two small corn cobs worth)

1/3 cup grated soy cheese (optional, but you may want to add a bit of oil if you do choose to omit it)

1 teaspoon hot dried chili flakes

1 teaspoon baking powder

1/2 cup unsweetened almond milk

1 tablespoon flax

Preheat oven to 180 C and oil a muffin tin (or use muffin paper holder things (why can't i ever remember or bother to look up their name?)). Grate your soy cheese, and remove the corn kernels from the cob (by shaving them off with a knife). Combine all ingredients in a bowl. Fill up 9 muffin tins, nearly all the way full. Bake for 15-20 minutes, until a knife or toothpick comes out clean. And enjoy more vegan southern cooking.

Body Image

I've talked before about Diabulimia (an eating disorder specific to diabetics in which they limit the amount of insulin they take/stop taking insulin in order to lose weight). What I didn't mention is that, statistically, girls with type 1 diabetes are 2.4 times as likely to develop an eating disorder, as girls without.

That's pretty freaky stuff. I, personally, do not have an eating disorder. In the past, I've suffered from undiagnosed binge eating disorder, but never bulimia, anorexia, or diabulimia. I'm not at all trying to discount having an eating disorder. It's extremely extremely serious, causes permanent damage to your health, and is overall incredibly dangerous. I'm really grateful that I don't have one.

But what I do want to say is that having type 1 diabetes caused me to have an intense over-awareness of my body and a resulting discomfort/shame of my body. Everything revolves around your body once you're diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. Your body is broken. It doesn't work right. You're constantly aware of it. Of every sensation. You constantly search for physical sensations to determine: Is my blood sugar high? Is it low? You worry and worry and worry about it, about your future body. Will I go blind? Will I lose my feet? You can't see your body is broken from the outside. You can cover up the scars, the injection sites. You can hide your insulin pump, or take shots and keep them in your bag. Some people don't even tell their friends they're a diabetic, and it's a pretty easy thing to hide.

I once had a friend refer to me as a model house. "Perfect on the outside, but inside nothing works. There's no running water. No heating." That really stuck with me. It didn't offend me or upset me, but it really meant something to me on a deeper level. I still strongly relate to it today.

In a way, I've found that being a "model house" makes it harder sometimes. You're broken. But no one can see it. People don't think there's really anything wrong with you. They won't know unless you tell them, and when you do they say things like "But you don't look sick." You don't really get free passes. People don't go easier on you. You look normal. You aren't at the hospital every day. Therefore, you're fine. You're perfectly fine.

I applied for special provisions for my HSC exams (the big, fat exams at the end of year 12 that determine your future) so that I could take lollies into the exam and my insulin pump and glucometer. I also got a little bit of extra time in case I had a low blood sugar or needed to leave the room. And oh boy, did the other kids at my school not approve. No one actually said it to my face. But I had multiple close friends come up to me and tell me that other kids I didn't know as well were asking them "Why does SHE get special provisions?!?" Because I looked normal. I was doing pretty well in school. Why on earth should I get special provisions?

But the weird thing about diabetes is that it does cause imperfections on the exterior, but you can hide them. For as long as I can remember, I've been ashamed of the little marks at injection sites, from shots, from insulin pump insertions, from finger pricks. I put my insulin pump in my bum rather than my stomach. The primary reason I keep doing it is that I have more nerve endings in my stomach and it hurts more to put it there. But I started doing it to hide the marks. If I wanted to wear a bikini, or if my shirt lifted up when I stretched, I didn't want people to see the set or see the blemishes it left behind. I used to worry so much about becoming an adult and having these markings all over my body. No one could see them because I was young and covered up, but the thoughts would linger in the deepest corner of my mine. Will anyone want to have an adult relationship with me, to marry me, to see me naked? Will they cringe in disgust?

Later I developed chronic cholecystitis (inflammation of the gallbladder) and acute appendicitis as a side effect of type 1 diabetes. I had to have both organs removed. I have three tiny scars now. One on my right side in between my hip and rib cage. One on my belly button. And one between my ribs. At the time the surgeon actually gave me the option to refuse the gallbladder surgery, and to wait and see if it flared up again. I had been vomiting for 18 hours because I had gone into diabetic ketoacidosis from the gallbladder infection spiking my blood sugar. Not for one second did I consider not having my gallbladder removed right then and there. But I mentally crossed off a few more things I couldn't do in my head. "Can't be a model. Can't wear anything that exposes my stomach." Of course I had never actually entertained the thought of being a model, but just having to cross off another thing I could never do, at such a young age, was excruciatingly painful for me.

Now the scars are little. They're even littler than a birthmark I have on my stomach, and I no longer feel inhibited by them. But I just remember that moment so vividly. I had so much rage. Not only did I have to suffer internally from my illness, but I was now branded by it too.

I've also talked about how diabetes can make you gain weight (because insulin converts energy to fat and excess insulin = excess fat). And boy did I gain weight. And boy is it difficult for me to lose that weight. And I needed to lose it. Not just for me to be happy or to feel pretty or to fit in with what the media or society values or whatever, but I needed to for my health. And yet, my body has resisted me every step of the way.

I don't have a healthy relationship with my body. I don't think I ever will. So many people say "Love your body. It's the only one you've got. It works hard to keep you alive every day. Treat it right." Well, my body isn't keeping my alive. My body is a suicidal, little cuss. It has tried to kill me on numerous occasions. It isn't keeping me alive. I'm keeping me alive. Doctors, and surgeons, and nurses, and phlebotomists, and medical researchers, and Banting & Best are keeping me alive.

So, what do you do then? What do you do with a body that doesn't love you or support you? I think perhaps that's the deepest reason why people with type 1 diabetes are more likely to develop an eating disorder. There are days I just want to slam my body against a wall until it's black and blue to punish it for everything it has done to me. But what is that really going to do? Nothing much. I guess, as a type 1 diabetic or anyone suffering from illness who struggles with body image, you just need to find something else to latch onto. Your family or friends or even yourself. And to treat your jerk of a body right for those reasons. Not for it. Because it is a total ass.

Strawberry Cheesecake Nana Ice Cream

It seems like a lot of my recipes are products of my cravings for unhealthy food. This one goes out to Ben & Jerry's, the masters of (poisonous) delicious ice cream. Shockingly, this healthy, vegan, refined sugar-free recreation could actually give the original Ben & Jerry's flavour a run for its money. 

As a disclaimer: This recipe is pretty adaptable. I made more of some stuff and ate it by itself. If you just want to make one massive batch of ice cream, then go ahead and double the fruits. Add more of this if you like, use less of that. It's really all about what you want. This recipe is more of a framework than a set of unbreakable rules. So do whatcha gotta do.

Also, you have an option to either have some left over cheesecake bites or to double the bananas and strawberries if you don't want any leftovers (but i'll explain that a bit more later)

In order to kick a Ben & Jerry's craving, you'll need:

1 cup of cashews

1 (or 2 if you like it heaps lemony) tablespoons lemon juice

1 tablespoon coconut oil

2 tablespoons agave

4 frozen or fresh bananas (only upside of frozen, is it'll be ready faster) (or 8 bananas, if you don't want extra cheesecake bites)

1/2 cup of frozen or fresh strawberries (or 1 cup if you don't want extra cheesecake bites)

almond milk if using frozen bananas

5-10 fresh strawberries (use your best judgement)

So first you'll want to make your cheesecake bites (since you need it freeze them before you can add them to the ice cream). Chuck the cashews, lemon juice, coconut oil, and agave into your food processor and blend until smooth. Now get a sheet of baking paper and drop little bits of the cheesecake batter onto the sheet (about the size of a dime/aussie 5 cent coin/fingernail). Freeze until solid (about 30min to an hour). 

Cheesecake bites solid? Awesome! So, here's the thing. The cheesecake bites are double the amount you actually need (because anything less won't blend up properly). I was personally pretty pleased with that, because I got to eat the remaining cheesecake bites by themselves as a little snack. Buuuut, if you want them all to be a part of the ice cream double the bananas and strawberries (So, that's 8 bananas, and 1 cup of strawberries). Now blend up the bananas and 1/2 cup (or 1 cup) of strawberries (add a bit of almond milk if using frozen bananas in order to get it to combine properly). Place the ice cream in a tupperware, and start freezing it while you cut up the additional strawberries.

Cut up the extra, fresh strawberries into little chunks and stir them into the ice cream. Add the cheesecake bites and stir it up again. You can either go ahead and eat it right now, if you're happy with the texture. Buuut, you can also freeze it overnight, let it thaw a bit in the morning, and scoop yourself out some "Ben & Jerry's Stawberry Cheesecake" for a more authentic experience.

Tagalongs

Girl Scout Cookie recreations are baaaaaack! Tagalongs....what can I really say about Tagalongs? Umm...they're delicious. They have peanut butter AND chocolate. So, they're obviously amazing. They're my second favourite Girl Scout Cookie after Samoas. So, it's pretty sad that it's taken this long for me to recreate them, but tbh I was sorta worried they'd be a pain in the butt to make cause peanut butter and chocolate coating are messy enough by themselves. But in the end, it wasn't that bad at all. And even if it was as tragic as I had imagined, IT WOULD HAVE SO BEEN WORTH IT.

So, without further ado I present the ingredient list for yummy vegan, gluten free, refined sugar-free Tagalongs:
for the cookies: 1/4 cup coconut oil
1/4 cup maple syrup or honey
1 tablespoon almond milk
1 cup buckwheat flour
1/4 teaspoon baking powder
pinch of salt
1/2 teaspoon vanilla

Pre-heat the oven to 180 C. Line a tray with baking paper or oil a baking tray. Mix up the wet, add the dry. Flour a surface and, using a rolling pin, roll out the dough. Then cut the cookies into circles (or I guess whatever shape you want, but then they won't look like the real-deal). Bake for 5-10 minutes, until they turn a light golden-brown.

for the peanut butter filling: 1/4 cup smooth peanut butter

1 tablespoon coconut oil

1 tablespoon honey or maple syrup

Mix up the PB, coconut oil, and sweetener of choice until combined. Spread the peanut butter filling on the cookies (preferably after they've had a chance to cool down, otherwise the PB will melt AAALLLL OOOVER your cookies and it'll be messy (but delicious)).

for the chocolate coating: 1/2 cup cocoa/cacao

2 tablespoons coconut oil

4 tablespoons agave

1/4 cup water

Mix all the ingredients together, except for the water. Add the water slowly until it reaches your desired consistency (which will be pretty thin for easy coating). It took me about 1/4 cup, but just be careful. You don't want it to go too liquidy. Dip each cookie into the chocolate coating (peanut butter side up, or else you're gonna have problems, my friend), freeze overnight, devour in the morning.

Pumpkin Pull-Apart Muffins with Choc-Sauce

There were a number of events that influenced the creation of this recipe. 1. I've had a tupperware full of pumpkin puree in my freezer for like two weeks now from back when I made Pumpkin Gnocchi. 2. I saw this incredible-looking pull-apart bread on IG and I thought we were meant to be, but the recipe is chock-full of gluten and dairy and I was like "I'm sorry, my love. But NO." 3. I went to Love Juice and got the most incredible date & banana muffin and developed a serious case of muffin envy. 4. The muffin also pulled apart in little sections, and I was like "OMG ME AND PULL-APART THINGS ARE MFEO." And so, these muffins were born.

(Wow, that was a lot of links....feeling pretty tech-savy atm....even though making a link involves copying a web address and pressing like two buttons and typing in a word or two....but don't judge....)

All the pull-apart breads and muffins I found on the internet had glaze or cream cheese frosting on top and since that was kinda a big no-go for me, I decided to top it with some homemade chocolate sauce, and I really don't feel deprived (at least not in an Oliver Twist or Orphan Annie sorta way). So, I think we can say that was a good call on my part. Also, pumpkin and chocolate is the bomb. I was also a bit worried about them pulling apart, because I didn't use a heap and a half of butter and sugar, but it all worked out beautifully. So, I'm mighty relieved. And yay muffins! 

So in order to make these little pumpkin bits of deliciousness (makes around 6-8) you'll need:

for the muffins: 2 and 1/2 cups buckwheat flour

2/3 cup pumpkin purée

1/4 cup + 2 tablespoons maple syrup

1/4 cup coconut oil

1 teaspoon vanilla 

2 teaspoons baking powder

2 teaspoons cinnamon

1 teaspoon nutmeg

pinch of salt

1 tablespoon flax

Preheat oven to 180 C. Mix together the maple syrup, vanilla, coconut oil, and pumpkin purée, Add the dry ingredients and combine. The dough should be quite thick, if it's too moist to roll out without sticking to everything, add another 1/4 cup of flour. Flour a surface and roll out the dough with a rolling pin. Cut the dough into squares that will fit your muffin tin. Your muffins will comprise of about 5 squares of dough stacked on top of each other. In between each square, spread some melted coconut oil (using a brush or if you're lame like me, you can just dip a spoon in coconut oil and rub the back over the square of dough) and sprinkle some stevia or coconut sugar and cinnamon on top of the oil. Grease your muffin tin or put muffin holders in it. Turn each stack of dough on its side and mold it into a more rounded shape to fit the tin better, and bake for 18-25 minutes.

for the choc sauce: 3 tablespoons cocoa/cacao powder
1/2 tablespoon coconut oil
1 tablespoon agave
2 tablespoons water (or more or less depending on how thick/thin you want your sauce to be)

Mix it all together and drizzle over muffins, and BOOM pull-apart deliciousness.

Chocolate Mylkshake with Coconut Whipped Cream

Let's just take a moment to acknowledge the severe lack of smoothie/drink recipes on this blog. It's pretty sparse. There are essentially two reasons for this. 1. I'm not a big smoothie drinker. I like my food either cooked or solid, aside from nana ice cream and acai bowls. 2. I feel like there isn't much I can offer you with a smoothie recipe. It's like "Put in a banana, some strawberries. There you go! Banana and strawberry smoothie!" I'm not enough of a smoothie connoisseur to know all the fancy little spices and extra thingies you add to make them super special and delicious. 

However, eons ago, I made a Banana Popcorn Thickshake which means that there's a Smoothies/Drinks category in my recipe index, and it has ONLY ONE RECIPE. Now, I'm a tad obsessive/OCD and for some reason having only one or two things in a category keeps me up at night (just kidding (jokes, i'm actually serious (haha, no i'm not (okay, maybe a little)))). So, when I made this (DELICIOUS) chocolate mylkshake this morning, I decided I'd better put it up on here to try and bulk up that sad, little Smoothies/Drinks category (and to help me get to sleep tonight).

So, in order to make the Chocolate Mylkshake (and cure my blog-related insomnia) you'll need:

for the mylkshake: 3 frozen bananas

1/2 avocado

1/2 tablespoon almond (or other nut) butter

2 and 1/2 tablespoons cocoa/cacao powder

1 tablespoon agave

2 cups almond milk

Throw all the ingredients into a blender and whizz it all up until smooth and creamy. Separate into two smallish glasses and share, or pour it into one big glass if you're starving.

for the coconut whipped cream: 270 ml can of full-fat coconut milk (I used Ayam premium coconut milk, but basically just make sure you shake whatever can of coconut milk you're gonna buy BEFORE you buy it. You want one that doesn't slosh around very much to at all.)
1/2 tablespoon agave

Leave the coconut milk in the fridge overnight (or for 6ish hours). This allows the stuff in the milk to separate. You should (hopefully) get a plastery type top layer and a liquid bottom layer. Open the can from the bottom and pour out the liquid layer (you aren't gonna use this stuff). Scoop out the hard, plaster junk and put it in a bowl. Whisk it for a bit, add the agave, and keep whisking until it forms soft peaks. It may make a bit extra, store that in the fridge in a tupperware for the next time you need whipped cream (Perhaps on nana ice cream? Or maybe make a bit more whipped cream and make a tart?) Top your mylkshake(s) with the whipped cream, maybe some cacao nibs, maybe even consider getting some fresh berries and dunking them in the shake (it was a really good life decision, guise) and enjoy!

Maple Granola

This is my go-to granola recipe. I'm not one for experimenting so this was actually a product of not having the right ingredients. I used to use an amazing honey/citrus granola recipe from le pirate, but one day I forgot to buy an orange or honey at the store, and I needed my granola fix. So, I subbed in maple syrup and omitted the orange. My mum (who at the time ate most of the granola, cause I was eating nana ice cream for brekky) actually liked it better with maple syrup. So, I started making it that way. The next time I made it, I was missing pistachios. So, I substituted pepitas (pumpkin seeds). I'm not a huge nut-eater and nor is my mum (we both are slightly allergic). Again, happy coincidence. Then I finally started messing with the oat/chia/quinoa ratios to get them the way I liked. And soon, this recipe replaced the old citrus/honey one. To be honest, this might have been the first time I actually semi-recipe experimented ever....

My mum normally eats this granola with greek yoghurt. I normally eat it on smoothie/acai bowls (or by the handful...hehe....it's insidious....). I also chuck it on top of nana ice cream once in awhile if I'm in a super crunchy mood. Basically, it's good on almost everything.

To make this granola (makes a BIIIIIG batch that will last for at least a week, unless you're a huge granola fiend), you'll need:

2 and 1/2 cups rolled oats

1/2 cup quinoa

1/8 cup chia seeds

1/2 cup chopped almonds

1/2 cup pumpkin seeds (pepitas)

2 teaspoons cinnamon

1 teaspoon nutmeg

1/2 teaspoon ginger

1/4 cup melted coconut oil

1/2 cup maple syrup

dried (chopped) apples (apprx. 7)

dried (chopped) apricots (apprx. 12)

craisins (apprx. 1 big handful)

Pre-heat oven to 200 C. Mix chia, quinoa, oats, pepitas & chopped almonds together. Add the spices and mix again. Add coconut oil & maple syrup and combine. Place a sheet of baking paper on a baking tray, and spread the granola evenly on the tray. Bake for 20-30 min (until it's all slightly browned (or more if you like it a bit burnt), the top layer will be brown before the whole thing is cooked which is where the next step comes in), stirring every 10 minutes. While the granola is baking, chop up[ the apricots and apples. Remove granola from oven. Let cool and mix in dried fruit. Store in a jar and enjoy!

Pumpkin Chickpea Flour Gnocchi

Pasta is legit one of my favourite things. Gnocchi is probs one of my top three pastas. Alas, I hardly ever eat pasta (or gnocchi for that matter) because of my little issue called FLOUR MAKES ME SICK AS A DAWG. However, now that I've discovered all these beautiful little flour substitutes, I can now enjoy pasta again. HOORAY!

So, I used chickpea flour for this and I was really put off by the smell. If you are too, never fear! The pumpkin masks it for the most part, and what it doesn't mask actually complements the pumpkin really well (in my humble opinion).

I guess that's about it. Gluten-free, vegan, PUMPKIN. Pasta without the pain (as I said on IG and probably should not repeat but I am repeating it cuz I'm a loser).

To make painless gnocchi (serves four) you'll need:

1 and 1/3 cups pumpkin puree

3 cups chickpea flour

2 tablespoons thyme

2 tablespoons flax

pinch of salt & pepper

Mix all the ingredients together and set a pot of salted water on the stove top to boil. Flour a surface (eg. countertop) and roll out the dough into a tube (I did this in segments of 6). Slice the tube into pieces and flatten each piece with a fork. Once the water is boiling, toss the gnocchi into the pot (in 3ish batches). Once the gnocchi rise to the top, they're done. Fish them out with a slotted spoon. Oil a skillet and fry the gnocchi at medium-low heat for approximately 30 seconds on each side, until they've slightly browned (again I did this in about 3 batches, but that will depend on the size of your skillet). Take them out of the skillet, top with pasta sauce and soy cheese (OMG IT IS THE ACTUAL BEST THING, NO JOKE), and eat it up!

P.S. I've been eating heaps of homemade soup lately, and you can just chuck little balls of this dough into the water and BOOM pumpkin dumplings in your soup.

Thin Mints

An Ode to Thin Mints by Sylvia

Oh, Thin Mints. How I despise you, my least favourite Girl Scout Cookie. How I resent your popularity. I will never be able to fathom why you would account for half of my cookies sales when there are so many superior cookies. The disappointment you caused me when cookies sales were over, and I was left with the cookies whose owners I couldn't get in contact with. You were all that was left over. Maybe a box or two of Samoas, an odd Trefoil here or there. But you. There would be countless boxes of you. How I sobbed and sobbed, being forced to eat you. I didn't order any of you for myself, but you were forced upon me by those careless cookie buyers who never retrieved their order. You, Thin Mints, you were the bane of my existence.

Yet in my old age, I have grown soft and sentimental. I couldn't bare to neglect you. Even after all your wrong-doings and your sub-par personality, I had to give you a second chance. To reincarnate you as a healthy, vegan, gluten-free, refined sugar-free version of yourself. And by some luck, in your second life, I didn't hate you. Somehow, I was able to come to peace with you....and I tolerated you. Nay, I liked you. 

Anyways, yepp. I hated HATED HAAAATTTEEDDDD Thin Mints as a Girl Scout. But now, we've sorta made up....or at least, the idea of Thin Mints and I have made up. I'll probably never make up with the nasty, unhealthy ones. But yeah, since most people are Thin Mint lovers from the get-go, you shouldn't need to use this recipe to over-come your deep, dark, haunted relationship with them. But if you're Team Samoa fo' lyfe like me, these guys aren't that bad. They're actually quite good. But if I had to choose between Thin Mints and Samoas or Do-si-dos or Tagalongs, I'm sorry. I would still throw these Thin Mints overboard and let them drown. But legit. They're actually good. I swear. I just love peanutbutter and caramelly-coconut sooooo much more. Probs cause I've never been a huge chocolate person. But if you're a chocolate person or a Thin Mint person. You'd probably run to the rescue of these guys and let my poor Samoas drown. :(

In order to make EVIL (not so evil anymore) Thin Mints, you'll need:

for the cookies: 1 cup buckwheat flour

1/2 cup cocoa powder or cacao powder

pinch of salt

1/2 teaspoon baking powder

1 teaspoon vanilla

1/2 cup agave

2 tablespoons coconut oil

1 tablespoon almond milk

Pre-heat the oven to 180 C. Line a baking tray with baking paper, or oil it up. Mix all the ingredients together. Flour a surface (eg. counter-top) and roll out the cookie dough, using a rolling pin. Use a cookie-cutter (or in my case, a mason jar) to cut the cookies into circles. Put them on the baking tray. Put them in the oven, and bake for 4-10 minutes.

for the chocolate-mint coating: 1/2 cup cocoa/cacao

2 tablespoons coconut oil

4 tablespoons agave

6 drops peppermint oil (or 1 teaspoon peppermint extract)

1/4 cup water

Mix all the ingredients together, except for the water. Add the water slowly until it reaches your desired consistency (which will be pretty thin for easy coating). I found it took me 1/4 cup, but just be careful with it. You don't want it to go too liquidy. Dip each cookie into the chocolate-mint coating and freeze overnight. 

Do-si-dos

Okay, I couldn't stop at Samoas. I had to make Do-si-dos. I was having a major baking/peanut butter craving in the middle of the night and I couldn't resist the temptation to make these. Admittedly, Tagalongs are my favourite Girl Scout Cookies after Samoas, but I wasn't in the mood to deal with dipping things in chocolate and freezing them and blaahhhh. So, Do-si-dos it was!

I wanted to have a major meltdown because they didn't come out looking like packaged Do-si-dos. They're pretty obviously homemade. But they did taste just like the real deal (but healthier!). This time around they aren't gluten-free (soz). Because I love oats. Oats oats oats. And I was not about to sacrifice oatmeal cookies for the sake of being gluten-free. But you could play around and replace the oats with more buckwheat flour for 100% gluten-free. Like last time, though, they're vegan and refined sugar-free! Yippee!

You'll need:

for the cookies: 3/4 cup buckwheat flour

1/2 cup oats 

1 teaspoon baking powder

2 tablespoons flax

pinch of salt

1 teaspoon vanilla

1/3 cup crunchy peanut butter

1/3 cup honey

3 tablespoons coconut oil

Pre-heat the oven to 180 C and line a baking tray with baking paper or oil it. Mix up the dry ingredients. Add the wet ingredients and mix again. Roll the dough into tiny balls in your hands and flatten them out on the baking tray. Bake for 4-10 minutes, until the tops have slightly browned.

for the filling: 1/4 cup smooth peanut butter

1 tablespoon coconut oil

1 tablespoon honey

Mix up the ingredients together until combined (or whip them for a fluffier texture). Spread between two of the cookies. And there you have it, sports fans (or baking fans?)! Homemade Do-si-dos!

Avocado & Lime Bread

Adapted from this recipe

The above photo was posted on Mayver's Food's instagram this afternoon which was completely INSANE. I am a huuuuuge lover of Mayver's nut butters and I have used them in countless recipes. Their Peanut Coconut spread isn't technically in this recipe, but it was a perfect topping. 

Now some of you might be thinking, "Avocado and lime bread? Why? Ew. Just why?" Well, the why is because I got this bag of avocados for 5 dollars and I decided to have fun while desperately trying to use them all up before they rotted. Now as for the "Ew," it's actually really good. Weird as it may sound. It's sort of like banana bread's feisty cousin. Really moist from the avocados and sweetened by maple syrup. Really really delicious.

You'll need:

1 and 1/2 avocado (but I had teeny avocados so I used 2)

juice of a lime

3/4 cup maple syrup

1 tablespoon flax

1 and 1/4 cups wholewheat flour

1 and 1/2 teaspoons baking powder

pinch of salt

pumpkin seeds (aka pepitas) to top

Pre-heat the oven to 180 C. Line a loaf pan with baking paper or grease the pan and sprinkle some flour on the bottom and edges of the pan. Mash up the avocado with the lime juice. Combine with maple syrup. Add the dry ingredients and mix it all together. Now, where you put the pumpkin seeds depends on what side of the bread you want to be the top. Since I used a pan with a design, I wanted the bottom of the bread to be the top (if that makes sense?). So, I sprinkled pumpkin seeds in the bottom of my pan and poured the bread mixture over it. If you wanted the top to be the top, then you'd pour the bread mix in and top with pumpkin seeds. Bake for 20-35 minutes, until a knife or toothpick comes out clean. Let it cool. Slice it. And for the optimal experience: top with Mayver's Peanut & Coconut spread. Otherwise, eat it plain or top with a different nut butter.

Follow Up: Food Sensitivities

Okay. So, I already talked about food sensitivities, but I just had some really shocking experiences this past week that I wanted to share because it fully reaffirmed my hatred of white flour.

First off, I went out of town with my boyfriend to visit his family and I stupidly ate a regular, plain ol', greasy, gluten-ridden chocolate cookie. Then flash forward 30min, I have a huuuuge headache. I feel like I'm going to throw up (I literally thought I had food poisoning). I can barely stay awake. I had a sneaking suspicion it might've been the cookie, but I also hadn't had much sleep so I wasn't completely convinced.

Secondly, a couple days later, my brother got Pizza Hut and I ate the crust off one of the pieces of pizza (again, stupidly. i can be really weak when it comes to food). Thirty minutes later, exact same symptoms! Splitting headache, intense nausea, and feeling completely lethargic. And my blood sugar was high all night. I actually used to feel like that all the time. Literally. I'd have multiple headaches every day, constantly feel sick to my stomach. There wasn't a day that went by without me taking at least two ibuprofens. I can't remember feeling excessively tired, but it may have been that I was and just didn't know any different, or that might just be because I hadn't eaten that crap in ages. Dunno.

Thirdly, today I made some gluten-free pasta (vegan avocado-cauliflower-cashew mac & cheeze. omg so gewd guise). Now, I do not eat pasta. Hard fast rule. Never. Like even before I started eliminating stuff from my diet, I hardly ever ate pasta. I would feel ridiculously sick after eating it and my blood sugar would spike. I thought it was just because pasta is really high in carbs. Perhaps not? Because I ate my gluten-free pasta and I felt PERFECTLY FINE. Like whut? No nausea. No crazy blood sugar spikes. Nada.

So, I'm just kinda throwing this out here mostly to remind myself NEVER EAT WHITE FLOUR, SYLVIA IT WILL KILL YOU. But also just because sometimes I feel like maybe I'm just being a big hypochondriac and maybe I don't have any problems with white flour and such and maybe I'm just being crazy-pants. But oh dear lord, I definitely do have problems with it. NO BUENO. NO BUENO, I SAY.

I'm also just chucking this out here a second time, because I find it really mind-boggling how I used to constantly feel horrible and I never really thought anything was wrong. Like I knew most people didn't feel like that, but the idea never occurred to me that it might be a fixable problem. I just thought that was how I was wired, like people with chronic migraines. But nope. There was a solution. Crazy.

Also, so that you aren't left picture-less once again by my diabetes posts. Here's a photo of the avocado-cauliflower-cashew mac & cheese that didn't make me sick. ;)

Pumpkin Waffles

I don't really have any amazing stories for these waffles. They're a variation on my basic buckwheat waffles recipe I posted a week or so ago. And they are so so so good. SOOOO GOOOD. Make them noooowwww!

 

Like I get that plain waffles are awesome cause you can put whatever you want on em and you can jazz them up with blueberries or chocolate chips inside or something. But these fellas are the real deal. Wowza. I would honestly like to eat them every day. It's too bad that it's getting to be warm again in Straya. Not fair. I just got a waffle iron, for pete's sake!

In order to enjoy perfect pumpkin deliciousness, you'll need (again makes around 6ish animals or 2 regular waffles):

1/2 cup pumpkin puree (not pumpkin pie filling!)

1/3 cup + 3 tablespoons almond milk

1 teaspoon vanilla

2/3 cup buckwheat flour

1 teaspoon baking powder

1 teaspoon cinnamon

1/2 teaspoon nutmeg

Mix up wet. Add dry. Grease your waffle iron (if it's cheap like mine, that is). Heat it up. Add waffle mix. Wait about 2-4 minutes. Open up. Remove golden-orange deliciousness. Nomnomnom. Also, I would really recommend adding nana ice cream, because that stuff just makes everything better. For realz.

for nana ice cream:

2 frozen bananas

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

almond milk

Blend it up in a food processor, scraping sides, and adding almond milk as necessary to help it combine. Top it on the waffles. (I also added a touch of maple syrup and pecans) And now OMNOMNOMNOMNOM.

Samoas

I cannot even express how excited I am right now. I made Samoas (or Caramel de-Lites depending on which region of the USA you live in)!! But not just any Samoas, VEGAN, GLUTEN-FREE, REFINED SUGAR-FREE SAMOAS. Not only do you get Samoas year-round now, but they also won't kill you. You can go ahead and say thank you right now. ;)

Now, if you aren't from amurrica, you probably have no clue what I'm talking about or why I'm typing in all-caps. Samoas are a type of Girl Scout Cookie. The best Girl Scout Cookie, in my humble opinion (which also happens to be the truth). Many people will try to tell you that Thin Mints are the best Girl Scout Cookies, but they are either sadistic liars or lack taste-buds.

What are Girl Scout Cookies, you ask? Oh, right. Girl Scout cookies are sold once a year by Girl Scouts (little ragamuffins who do stuff, earn badges, and camp occasionally. tbh, their real purpose in life is to sell Girl Scout Cookies once a year. that's really all anyone cares about). These cookies are evil. Not only do the cookies try to kill you, but they are also only available ONCE A YEAR. So, you buy five thousand boxes of them, because they are no joke the BEST cookies in the entire world, to stockpile for the upcoming year. However, you fail miserably to refrain from devouring them the first day, and then you are on your way to developing type 2 diabetes and dying (okay, that's a bit dramatic, but you'll feel like crap).

 Samoas themselves are chocolate covered shortbread cookies with caramel coconut on top. And they're just JFIUFISBFIWBIbiewribgsgoidgfooioenfowfNJBNIDSBIIgssf. Like I can't even. Just go ahead and try the recipe. Of course, they aren't authentic cookies, but I, as a Samoa-connoisseur, can barely tell a difference (except that I don't get awful food-sensitivity symptoms after eating one).

You'll need:
for the cookies: 1/4 cup coconut oil
1/4 cup maple syrup
1 tablespoon almond milk
1 cup buckwheat flour
1/4 teaspoon baking powder
pinch of salt
1/2 teaspoon vanilla

Pre-heat the oven to 180 C. Line a tray with baking paper or oil a baking tray. Mix up the wet, add the dry. Flour a surface and, using a rolling pin, roll out the dough. Then cut the cookies into doughnut shapes (I didn't have any suitable cookies cutters because I'm sorry, but I'm not Betty Crocker, but I used a mason jar for the large ring and a bottle cap for the small ring). Bake for 5-10 minutes, until they turn a light golden-brown.

for the coconut caramel: 1 1/4 cup shredded coconut
13 medjool dates
almond milk

Leave the oven on 180 C and line a baking tray with baking paper. Spread the coconut evenly on the tray and cook for about 2-5 minutes, constantly checking on the coconut (because it burns REALLY fast) and stirring it around so it cooks evenly. You want it to be just slightly brown. Remove from the oven and let it cool. Remove the pits from the dates. Blend the dates and almond milk in the food processor (you'll want a little bit less almond milk than it would take to cover up the dates, but start with a little and add more. you want the caramel to be pretty thick in this case). Add your date caramel and shredded coconut to a mixing bowl and combine.

for the chocolate: 2 tablespoons cocoa/cacao powder
1/2 tablespoon agave
water

Combine cocoa/cacao powder and agave and slowly add water until you get a thick chocolate sauce. Dip the bottoms of the cookies in the chocolate sauce and place them back on the baking paper. You should still have some chocolate sauce left to drizzle on top of the Samoas, but if not, just make a bit more.

Press the caramel coconut mix on top of the cookies and then drizzle the remaining chocolate sauce. Put the cookies in the freezer overnight so the caramel and chocolate hardens up. And enjoy eating vegan, gluten-free, refined sugar-free Girl Scout Cookies anytime of year!

Jaffa Nana Ice Cream Sandwiches

Orange and chocolate was not a flavour combo that I was really familiar with up until recently. In Australia, there are these things called Jaffa Cakes which are essentially orange cake with chocolate icing (there are also Jaffa lollies which are like orange-coated chocolate balls). This seemed weird to me initially, but goodness gracious, they're delicious. They aren't delicious in a childish, easily palatable way like vanilla ice cream. But they're delicious in a more sophisticated, acquired taste way like coffee (except I'm not a giant coffee fan, but you know). 

Anyways, now I'm basically obsessed with chocolate and orange everything. Because another issue I have is with oranges. I really like orange flavoured things (eg. orange juice), but I don't like eating oranges by themselves. You have to peel them which is an effort. And then you get those little white, hard, stringy bits. And the juice goes everywhere. And ugh. So, I've just never gotten to eat my fair share of orange things. Because what do you really put orange in exactly?

I'd bought a bag of mandarins at my local fruit shop (which is amazing because it's like a five minute walk away, the fruits are amazing and ripe and uhghghgg, and it's open late), because impulse fruit buying. Then a few days later I was like "Oh, crap. I have a bag of mandarins....what do I do?" And thus, these ice cream sandwiches were born.

In order to make the ice cream sandwiches (makes 6) you'll need:

for the cookies: 1 cup oats

4 tablespoons chocolate nut butter (I used Mayver's Hazelnut Cacao spread)

3 tablespoons agave

Pulse the oats, agave, and nut butter in your food processor until it starts to stick together. Then divide it in half, and press into some sort of mold to form the cookies (I used cupcake paper thingies, but if you have large cookie cutters or some other mold, that would work as well). Save the other half for the top cookie.

for the nana ice cream: 1 and 1/2 frozen bananas

4 mandarins

Blend up the frozen bananas and mandarins in the food processor. Layer the nana ice cream over the cookies in the molds. Put in the freezer overnight (or until it hardens up a fair bit). Press the remaining half of the cookie "dough" on top of each sandwich. And voila! Jaffa style ice cream sandwiches!

Buckwheat Waffles & Blueberry Syrup

I've been wanting to make waffles for awhile now. I've never ever had a waffle iron. My only waffle memories are from going on trips and staying hotels that had really nice continental breakfasts. You'd grab a plastic cup full of waffle mix, pour it into the waffle iron, walk away, hear it ding, open it up, and BAM, a perfect, crispy waffle. I used to live in Texas and once in awhile the hotels would actually have a waffle iron in the shape of the state (because Texas pride is ridiculous).

So, when I was at Big W (where it seems I get all of my fun kitchen stuff) and saw an animal waffle iron for $18 I couldn't resist. In the past, Big W appliances have failed my family (not worked at all), and when we've tried to return them they have been major jerkfaces. So, I was a bit hesitant. But the possibility of animal waffles was too hard to walk away from, and lucky for me, it worked! Phew! What a relief. 

Making the waffles was a whole other catastrophe though. The batter was too runny. The waffles were too soft. I over-filled the iron and then there was a runny, gooey mess all over the counter top. It was very traumatizing. Luckily, the second go went much, much better. I ended up with soft, but slightly crunchy waffles in the shape of a lion, elephant, and giraffe. 

And the blueberry syrup came out perfect on the first attempt. Like it was really really good. Not too sweet. But just on that border for me between, "YES IT'S SUGARY" and "OH GOD I AM DYING FROM SUGAR OVERLOAD."

For the waffles (makes 6 little animals, or about 2 regular waffles) you'll need:

1 mashed banana

1/3  cup + 3 tablespoons almond milk (you want the batter to be thicker than regular waffle batter, but if it's like dough add a bit extra)

1 teaspoon lemon juice

1 flax egg

1 teaspoon vanilla

2/3 cup buckwheat flour

pinch of salt

1 teaspoon baking powder

Heat up the waffle iron. Mix up the wet ingredients. Add the dry. Depending on how fancy/non-sticky your waffle iron is, you may need to add some oil of choice to ensure the waffles don't stick. Pour batter into the waffle mold and cook for about 2-4 minutes (time will vary depending on your waffle iron). I waited until mine were a bit browned on top so they'd be crunchy on the outside.

For the blueberry syrup (makes a bit extra. i saved mine in the fridge for future pancakes/waffles) you'll need:

2/3 cup blueberries

1/3 cup water

2 tablespoons maple syrup

2 teaspoons lemon juice

Blend up the blueberries and water (you could mash the blueberries, but then you'd need to strain out the skins). Pour the blueberry mix into a sauce pan. Add the maple syrup and lemon juice. Cook on medium/high heat until it begins to boil. Turn off the heat and pour on your waffles. Yum.

Pumpkin Donuts

Donuts are my favourite dessert of all time. OF ALL TIME. They rank way higher than Beyonce's music video in my books. That reference is a tad outdated, isn't it? Oh, well. DONUTS ARE NEVER OUTDATED. Well, yes they are....they tend to go stale after only like an hour....but I don't care. I'm not caught up in your love affair. AND WE'LL NEVER BE ROYALS.

Okay, okay. I'm sorry. I've been listening to Lorde waaayy too much recently...and the Kanye reference.....I really have no excuse....I'm just lame and outdated. What do people even quote these days? Let's move on.

But donuts are the best. Not Australian donuts, though. Those are god-awful. So, if you're Australian and you don't share my donut obsession, it's okay. I forgive you. You don't know any better. Get Krispy Kreme donuts fresh if at all possible, that's the best your gonna get in this donut wasteland (or maybe don't get them cause they're practically poison.....delicious poison). 

The tragic thing about donuts though is that they are fried, made with white flour, dairy-ridden, refined sugar loaded pieces of evil. But they're delicious. Little dirtbags. Not these donuts though! Gluten-free, baked, refined sugar-free, vegan pieces of heaven. Little saints.

I must admit I like them better than real donuts. They actually taste delicious. And they don't make me feel like a inflamed, nauseous, piece of crap afterwards. Another good thing about baked donuts is that the pans make these little mini-sized donuts so you get a pretty healthy sized portion (unless you go and eat more than one like I did, whoops).

You'll need:

a donut pan (I managed to find one at Big W, but you might have to go to a fancy kitchen store or order one off the internet unless you already have one. You could also make these in a muffin tin, just extend the cooking time by a few minutes)

1 flax egg

1/2 cup maple syrup

2/3 cup pumpkin puree (not pumpkin pie filling, I recommend cooking a pumpkin, scooping the pumpkin innards out, and just mashing it up to a pulp)

1/4 cup almond milk

2 tablespoons melted coconut oil

1/2 teaspoon vanilla

3/4 cup buckwheat flour

1/2 teaspoon baking powder

3/4 teaspoon cinnamon

1/4 teaspoon nutmeg

Grease donut pan and preheat oven to 180 C. Mix up the wet ingredients. Add the dry. Mix the wet and dry together. Pour into donut pan. Cook for 8-12 minutes. Let cool for at least 10ish minutes before removing. I topped mine with Mayver's hazelnut cacao spread & Loving Earth's caramelised buckinis. But feel free to top with whatever you've got handy, maybe regular peanut butter and chocolate chips? Nom away.